I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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