She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
