But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
