Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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