Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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