Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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