I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
