Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
