Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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