yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its not stalking. its research.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
