she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
