We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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