would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
