Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
