Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize