she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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