I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
