Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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