god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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