just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
