it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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