...so i touched it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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