We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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