So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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