But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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