if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
