I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
