Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I touched a dick in church today
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
