Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
