This girl is more easily done than said...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
