I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
