no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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