soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
