i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I enjoy the company of your penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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