He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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