if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Even my vagina gasped.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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