yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
