Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
