dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
