Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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