i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
