you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
