I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
