sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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