Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
