dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
