Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
