i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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