Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Pooping to opera.
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