i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
