I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
