So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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