Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
