his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
