You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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