i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We are all done wearing pants today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
