is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
