I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize